3am thoughts

Disclaimer: it’s late so this post is likely going to be pretty random.

I’ve been thinking lately about the difference between conviction and repentance, and wonder if sometimes we equate the two. In evangelism, or even friendships with those who we are to hold accountable, to encourage, exhort, etc. (and from whom we are to expect the same), do we settle for conviction yet with repentance lacking, in response to correction? Do we tell people that mortification is not instant and sanctification is progressive and use that to justify delayed obedience (which is disobedience), especially with the more tolerated sins of our day? Feeling bad about sin isn’t the same as repentance, and that’s an important distinction to make, while knowing, of course, what true repentance is and looks like. I’m not saying here that our distinction or lack thereof is of theoretical nature; we may get it right theoretically yet later literally say “that’s repentance” when it’s actually just conviction. Lord, may we repent daily with a godly sorrow and with friends good enough to point it out when we’re not.

Also, have you ever contrasted being gospel-centered with being in radical pursuit of holiness? If we think it’s one or the other, or at least more of one and less of the other, that’s baloney. Jesus was the most gospel-centered and holy Man on Earth. The most gospel-centered people, I think, will also be the holiest people. Trying not to be Pharisaical does not mean trying not to be holy. A radical pursuit of holiness and obedience is not just for some, or just for those “weird” Christians, but for all who profess to be Christian. It’s even a basis for our assurance.

On a related note, could it be possible that Christians go days and days without the thought of sin, or God, or the glory of God, and think it’s normal? What happened to whatever you do, do all for the glory of God? I forgot who it was, but someone once said that Christianity has become so atypical that the true Christian is now considered atypical.

Anyway, I hope that doesn’t too harsh or anything. Just some things that I’ve personally been convicted about so I thought I’d share what’s on my heart.

Hardened by the Deceitfulness of Sin

“You know the flesh has made a breach in your defenses when your heart is hardened by its deceitfulness (Hebrews 3:13) so that you are careless about sin. You will look at your life and think about how often you need God’s forgiveness, and so think of it as something common, nothing to worry over or take pains about. You’ll know you are hardened when you begin to extend the boundaries of Christian freedom to include indulgences that in the past would have shocked you. Your flesh will whisper to you that strictness and anxious care about obedience are legalism—the gospel came to deliver you from such things! And besides, if you really do commit a sin, you can be forgiven later.”

- Kris Lundgaard, The Enemy Within, p.65

What are the duties required in the first commandment?

Answer, from the Westminster Larger Catechism (Question 104):

“The duties required in the first commandment are, the knowing and acknowledging of God to be the only true God, and our God; and to worship and glorify him accordingly, by thinking, meditating, remembering, highly esteeming, honoring, adoring, choosing, loving, desiring, fearing of him; believing him; trusting, hoping, delighting, rejoicing in him; being zealous for him; calling upon him, giving all praise and thanks, and yielding all obedience and submission to him with the whole man; being careful in all things to please him, and sorrowful when in anything he is offended; and walking humbly with him.”

On Sanctification

“Sanctification is a lifelong process of repentance (not recovery) and obedience (not inner healing) that results in holiness (not wholeness) for the glory of God (not personal fulfillment).”

- C.J. Mahaney, How Can I Change, pp. 42-43

Book Review: The Pursuit of Holiness

Over a year ago, I read The Pursuit of Holiness by Jerry Bridges for the first time; I just finished reading it for a second time this week, and I think reading it the second time impacted me even more deeply than the first. You know those books you can’t imagine not having read after their completion, because of the impact they’ve had on your life. This is one of those books for me. Perhaps I will read it for a third time in another year.

Basically, throughout the book Bridges thoroughly and biblically handles the topic of our personal pursuit of holiness, leaving you with a powerful challenge to more seriously pursue holiness. He writes in a very straight-forward, firm, and humble manner, using many examples from his own life, and providing many practical applications. More importantly, the book is rooted in the authority of Scripture.

If you need the challenge like I do to take sin more seriously and pursue holiness more vigorously in your life, this book will help you. And if, you say, you don’t need the challenge, this book will help you.

I will leave you with a few principles that I gleaned from the book.

• Holiness is not an option, and although no one is without sin, a desire for holiness and a pursuit of it characterizes the life of a true Christian.
• Our attitude toward sin should not be “self-centered,” but “God-centered.” We should be more concerned that our sins grieve God rather than simply being success-oriented or not wanting to experience the consequences of sin.
• If there is unrepentant sin in our lives, we must not say that we are overcome by the sin, but understand our responsibility to obedience and mortification of our sin.
• In our pursuit of holiness, we must depend upon the strength and provision that God provides, without the exclusion of our responsibility.
• When we struggle to mortify a particular sin, we must not give up but keep persevering.
• The more we sin, the easier it becomes to do so and the more likely we are to sin again, whether in the same area or a different one.

Reflections on Colossians 3:12-14

“Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.”

This is a passage I’m assigned to study and apply this week for school, and I was thinking through some applications, but couldn’t come up with many practical specifics for the week in terms of interaction, and so I made one of my applications to pray for opportunities to demonstrate compassion, kindness, meekness, patience, forbearance, etc. I don’t think I understood what I was asking (in retrospect), but the Lord mercifully is committed to my sanctification, and He placed a nice, big opportunity before me.

What do I do? Grit my teeth and say, “Okay, Lord, if I have to.” That doesn’t sound like the spirit of this passage at all. And could there really be a superficial level to compassion, forgiveness,  etc. If so, it really isn’t any of those. I was thinking today about friends I’ve had in a community that was not Christian. Was there a degree of compassion, kindness, patience, and love among us? Yes. Would there be if one had a complaint against another? Not really, and definitely not in the spirit of the New Testament.

“But it’s not like I’m being mean to anyone.” Does not being outright mean reflect obedience to this passage?

The way Christians love one another is radical. It stands out (John 13:35). It is the fruit of true salvation (1 John). And it is optional only insofar as obeying God is optional. He places us among His other beloved sons and daughters, who are 1). not perfect, and 2). not exactly like us (as in, do things differently/have different personalities). And we are to obey this passage in that context. And I mean really obey it.

Pursuit of Holiness, 2

“The apostle John said, ‘My dear children, I write this to you so that you will not sin’ (1 John 2:1). The whole purpose of John’s letter, he says, is that we not sin. One day as I was studying this chapter I realized that my personal life’s objective regarding holiness was less than that of John’s. He was saying, in effect, ‘Make it your aim not to sin.’ As I thought about this, I realized that deep within my heart my real aim was not to sin very much…I realized God was calling me that day to a deeper level of commitment to holiness than I had previously been willing to make.”

- Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness, pp.92-93.

Pursuit of Holiness, 1

“If holiness then is so basic to Christian life, why do we not experience it more in daily living? . . . Our first problem is that our attitude toward sin is more self-centered than God-centered. We are more concerned about our own “victory” over sin than we are about the fact that our sins grieve the heart of God. We cannot tolerate failure in our struggle with sin chiefly because we are success-oriented, not because we know it is offensive to God.”

-Jerry Bridges, The Pursuit of Holiness, p. 16

What a Motive

Ann Hasseltine, three years before she married Adoniram Judson in 1812, wrote this:

Ever since I have had a comfortable hope in Christ, I have desired to devote myself to him in such a way as to be useful to my fellow-creatures. As Providence has placed me in a situation in life where I have an opportunity of getting as good an education as I desire, I feel it would be highly criminal in me not to improve it. I feel, also, that it would be equally criminal to desire to be well educated and accomplished, from selfish motives, with a view merely to gratify my taste and relish for improvement, or my pride in being qualified to shine. I therefore resolved last winter to attend the academy from no other motive than to improve the talents bestowed by God, so as to be more extensively devoted to his glory, and the benefit of my fellow creatures.

If

Over a year ago, I read a small book by Amy Carmichael titled “If.” It’s composed of a series of if-then statements, with all of the “if’s” followed by “then I know nothing of Calvary love.” Oh how deeply some of these have struck my soul. I love Spurgeon and Luther and Edwards and all, but I also love finding stuff written by women who set such an example in their radical devotion to the Lord and obedience to His Word.

After I read this book, I typed a lot of it up and sent it to a friend. I like how now when I come across something that strikes me, I could just post it here on the blog. So as I’m reminded of this book yet again, I thought I’d post a few among the many of these if-then statements that both comfort and convict me tonight:

If I belittle those whom I am called to serve, talk of their weak points, in contrast perhaps with what I think of as my strong points; if I adopt a superior attitude, forgetting “who made thee to differ? And what hast thou that thou hast not received?”…

If I can enjoy a joke at the expense of another; if I can in any way slight another in conversation, or even in thought…

If I do not feel far more for the grieved Savior than for my worried self when troublesome things occur…

If I am afraid to speak the truth, lest I lose affection, or lest the concerned should say, “You do not understand,” or because I fear to lose my reputation for kindness; if I put my own good name before the others’ highest good…

If I fear to hold another to the highest goal because it is so much easier to avoid doing so…

If the moment I am conscious of the shadow of self crossing my threshold, I do not shut the door, and in the power of Him who works in us to will and to do, keep that door shut…

If I cannot in honest happiness take the second place (or the twentieth); if I cannot take the first without making a fuss about my unworthiness…

If I feel injured when another lays to my charge things that I know not, forgetting that my Sinless Savior trod this path to the end…

If I feel bitterly towards those who condemn me, as it seems to me, unjustly, forgetting that if they knew me as I know myself they would condemn me much more…

If something I am asked to do for another feels burdensome; if, yielding to an inward unwillingness, I avoid doing it…

If the praise of man elates me and his blame depresses me; if I cannot rest under misunderstanding without defending myself…

If I do not forget about such a trifle as personal success, so that it never crosses my mind, or if it does, is never given a moment’s room there; if the cup of spiritual flattery tastes sweet to me…

If in the fellowship of service, I seek to attach a friend to myself, so that others are caused to feel unwanted; if my friendships do not draw others deeper in, but are ungenerous (i.e., to myself, for myself)…

If I avoid being “plowed under,” with all that such plowing entails of rough handling, isolation, uncongenial situations, strange tests…

If I forget that the way of the cross leads to the cross and not to a bank of flowers…

If I covet any place on earth but the dust at the foot of the cross…

Then I know nothing of Calvary love.